I love being a mother and am actually surprised by how natural this new identity feels. But the transition is still a major one and I have found that it calls for a great deal of surrender — of your time, your expectations and perfectionism, sometimes even of your prior identities. It is a time in which your sense of self is in flux, but it is also one that underscores all the things that are most important to you and who you truly are when everything else is stripped away.
It’s funny, I don’t necessarily seek out this sort of reading material, but it does seem to find me — like through a particular book, website, or podcast recommended by a friend. I tend to parent mostly from my intuition, but often I will read something or see a post crop up on Instagram that really resonates, so I will take that information on board. My kids are ultimately my greatest teachers, and it is such a privilege to be welcomed into their world through self-directed play; to see things from their perspective and to witness all that magic through their individual creative lens.
We are so lucky to have the most beautiful support system around us in terms of family and my husband is amazing with our kids. We both work for ourselves, so we try to fit in small moments of self-care for each other. For me, that might be a Pilates class after he finishes work, or a relaxing bath and a Sunday face mask.
I feel like my main hacks revolve around including our kids in everyday tasks like cooking, because they love to be involved in our world. And trying to be as organised as possible — like prepping outfits or meals the night before, then letting my sons know what we are going to do ahead of time, so that they can wrap their heads around it. But I also try to stay open and just go with the flow when plans fall apart. This season of early parenthood is a short one and, whenever I put myself in my kids’ shoes, I remember that the world must feel so overwhelming at times — especially when you have very little context or control. Giving them some daily rhythm and allowing them a little control over small things like clothing or dinner choices makes for a happier house overall, I find.
For me it is ages one to two, when the gross motor skills are still developing, and the vocabulary doesn’t necessarily match the mental capacity. It is a humbling time of great learning on both sides, as we get to know each other better and find out how to communicate most effectively.
Yes, both of our families are so amazing with the kids! But when I was pregnant with our second son Dune, we moved down to the Southern Highlands, which is where my husband’s parents live. So my mother-in-law now drops by often with homemade bone broth or to help put a load of washing on. And she usually helps watch our eldest son Mac or take him out on an adventure a couple of times a week.
I think this season of life really teaches you who your dearest friends are. They are the ones who will always be there for you, even if they’re not necessarily in the same life phase as you. Certain friendships may ebb, while new ones flourish as you connect with other likeminded parents.
If anything, I feel like I am more kind to my body these days, as I feel such a deep appreciation for the female body now and for this remarkable ability to grow and nurture our babes.
